The Martian Chronicles

Finally, some details about yesterday’s FIDE “Blazing Saddles” in Athens are given. As one of the numerous FIDE Vice Presidents, Mr. Boris Kutin from Slovenia told TASS, “The meeting unfolded in a friendly atmosphere. There was no conspiracy at all; on the contrary, everyone supported and favoured Kirsan Nikolayevich Ilyumzhinov to stay firmly seated on his presidential chair until 2018”. Ilyumzhinov’s personal encounter with Makropoulos there must have been (at least in theory) quite unexpected, as Kirsan Nikolayevich had cancelled the meeting. But no. “There was no enmity between them” swears Kutin. “On the contrary, they explained each other. No one wanted to organise a coup or a plot; everyone’s aim was to protect FIDE. All the Board members support Kirsan Nikolayevich, who will remain President until next elections in 2018. As for Makropulos, he definitely does not intend to run for President – thousand per cent true”. Ilyumzhinov’s Executive Assistant Berik Tuktybekovich Balgabaev exaggerated just a little bit when he told TASS that “Ilyumzhinov remains FIDE President with no limitation of powers”, but he didn’t exaggerate too much. It’s already two years that, due to the U.S. Treasury sanctions preventing him from operating financial activities on American soil, when necessary, Ilyumzhinov must delegate responsibility and authority to a deputy representative of FIDE. He will simply continue to do so. Ilyumzhinov wanted to cancel the meeting because of its high cost – which he estimated to be around €200,000 €uros. Grandmaster Nigel David Short tweeted that “The FIDE Presidential Board obviously ate damp squid for lunch”. Gens una sumus.